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YAY!
Oct 13, 2005 13:59:10 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 13, 2005 13:59:10 GMT -5
Okay, today was the worst day of my life! At first, it was fine, Zack and I decided to break up, and that was easy. Then, I told Zack not to call me again. He did not agree. I then said something I wish I could take back. I said, "Zack, really! DO NOT call me again or I will hunt you down and hurt you!" I was just kidding, of course, but he didn't see it that way. He thought I was going to kill him. We just switched seats in Science, and I sit right next to him. After lunch he told me I was mean and an evil menace. I don't think he likes me anymore. He was being mean in Science and also saying his life was useless and acting like a big baby. In English (Zack isn't in my English class.), I was almost crying, and I told my really good friends Heather and Rachel about what happened. I was worried that his mom was going to call, and I would get in trouble. If there is ANYTHING I hate, it's a parent calling my house. Heather and Rachel said that "His mom isn't going to call, yeah, he's a baby, but she won't." I hope they're right. I was so worried about it that I now have all the phones that Zack has the number for and put them in my room so I can answer if someone calls. (Which includes our main phone, my sister and my's private phone, and my cell.) I still want Zack to be my friend, so I hope this blows over quick. I hope what happened to Alyssa and I doesn't happen to Zack and I.
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YAY!
Oct 13, 2005 20:11:11 GMT -5
Post by simoncamdenfan on Oct 13, 2005 20:11:11 GMT -5
If you still want Zack as a friend. Let him call you. He would be calling you as a friend. Tell him that he CAN call you. You didn't really mean what you said. Tell him that you were just having a bad day. It sounded like you used to have a good friendship with him. I am sure that you don't want to lose that friendship.
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YAY!
Oct 14, 2005 15:05:46 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 14, 2005 15:05:46 GMT -5
Yeah, I don't! *lol* Zack was a little upset today...he called me ugly, mean, and other stuff. But, he said bye to me at the end of the day, and he's not *always* mean to me. Today he was basically crazy (And annoying) old Zack.
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Oct 15, 2005 16:56:59 GMT -5
Post by simoncamdenfan on Oct 15, 2005 16:56:59 GMT -5
Hopefully he will be back to normal soon.
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Oct 15, 2005 17:45:24 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 15, 2005 17:45:24 GMT -5
yeah, i hope so.
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Oct 17, 2005 13:44:45 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 17, 2005 13:44:45 GMT -5
Zack is back to normal. He calls me evil sometimes, but it doesn't bother me.
Now Hondo on the other hand...that's another story! Okay, I thought things were fine, until my dream last night. My dreams are all about my life basically, and it was a flashback of the day Hondo and I broke up. That day is a blur to me, but last night refreshed my memory. When he dumped me, I had said, "Omg! I was going to do the same to you today!" But, an hour before that, I had decided I wasn't, but now I remember that I had thought that, and I guess I just said that to make myself feel better. So, apparently, I wasn't going to dump him. I told Heather, and we were talking about it for awile, when Ariel came over to us. She didn't say anything she was just like, standing there. I said something like, "You know, I wouldn't say anything to him, because I know it wouldn't really matter, but I feel like I'm living a lie unless I tell him." Ariel said, "Who are you talking about?" I replied, "...Hondo." I said it nervously, because I thought she might get mad. She said, "Oh, Karissa, that's okay. I was never going to date him." Heather had then "drifted off to 'the happy place', her own lil world. So I said, "Heather! What do I do?!" She said, "I don't care." I said, Oh, that's a big help." Heather said, "I'm very helpful!" Ariel said (sarcastically), "You're helping by saying 'I don't care.' That's about the best help a person can get!!" I said, Heather, if you're not going to help meee, who will be a bigger help?" She said, "Autumn probably." I said (sarcastically), "Yeah, she'd probably be a bigger help than YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heather said, "Yeah, she probably would."
Autumn doesn't know ANYTHING about my little situation, so I didn't want to go to her. So, I thought I'd come here! PLEASE HELP!!!
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Oct 18, 2005 16:40:46 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 18, 2005 16:40:46 GMT -5
Heather gave me advice today, she said to tell him. Any other advice would be appreciated though!!
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Oct 18, 2005 18:48:11 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 18, 2005 18:48:11 GMT -5
This is what I'm going to say, tell me if it's good:
"Okay, I have to just get this off my chest, or else I'm going to feel like I'm living a lie. Remember a couple weeks ago when I you dumped me then I said that I was going to do the same to you? Well, I lied. I wasn't going to dump you."
And then, I'm just going to walk away. That's something I've learned from my friends. Say what you need to say then walk away, and if it meant something to them, they'll come to you.
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Oct 22, 2005 14:49:03 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 22, 2005 14:49:03 GMT -5
Now, I think I might write a poem about it, because that's what I did before. (Well, my cousin did, but this time I'll write it myself.) It is pretty easy for me to write poems, once I have a topic, so it [shouldn't] be difficult...
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Oct 22, 2005 16:21:32 GMT -5
Post by simoncamdenfan on Oct 22, 2005 16:21:32 GMT -5
Poems are a good way to say things from your heart. That is a good idea.
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Oct 22, 2005 20:58:08 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 22, 2005 20:58:08 GMT -5
Thanks I'm going to write it tonight or tomorrow...I've been thinking of ideas, but I don't know what it's gonna be yet...maybe my dream will help me! *lol* I just have a [little] something to say... Okay, this is really weird, but this either happened yesterday, or in my dream last night, I'm not quite sure which. I don't [exacly] "forget" things, I just forget when they happened, you know? I think it happened in real life, but I'm not 100% sure...more like 80%. Hondo said, "Hey, remember last year when that kid from Holy Trinity flipped Karissa off? I honestly felt like punching him in the face, and I would still feel like doing that if he did it again!" That really made me happy, and I hope that was not in my dream, because if it wasn't, he probably still likes me.
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Oct 23, 2005 17:39:09 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 23, 2005 17:39:09 GMT -5
i dont think im going to write a poem...its 6:30 and i have NOTHING...so this is what im going to do...
(1) right after english (1st hour), im going to tell him i have to talk to him at recess
(2) when we go outside after lunch for recess, this is what ill say...
"okay...what im about to say probably wont change anything, but if i dont tell you, ill be living a lie for the rest of my life. and please, dont interrupt me, just let me say all that i have to. remember a couple of weeks ago, when you dumped me, and i said "hey, i was going to do the same to you today."? well, i lied. i wasnt going to dump you, and i just said that to make myself feel better."
(3) like i said before, im just going to walk away. ive known hondo since 2000, and i know how to handle things like this with the people ive been with since 1st grade...
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Oct 24, 2005 0:22:53 GMT -5
Post by simoncamdenfan on Oct 24, 2005 0:22:53 GMT -5
Good luck with it.
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Oct 24, 2005 13:58:41 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 24, 2005 13:58:41 GMT -5
just my luck...it was raining at lunchtime! we didn't go outside! i guess ill do it tomorrow...
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Oct 25, 2005 17:47:23 GMT -5
Post by Ruthie Camden on Oct 25, 2005 17:47:23 GMT -5
okay...maybe these are signs that i shouldn't tell him...i don't know...but today i was sick, so i was sent home BEFORE lunch...and you know, now i don't care what happens, rain or shine, sick or fine (that rhymes! *lol*), i'm going to find the time to tell him...
today was one of the worst days of my life...this is how it goes...
i got to school, and once i had been there for about 45 minutes...i realized i didn't think i had a lunch...after english, my realization became my reality. i told you i share a locker with hondo, and well, when i get upset about something, i cry, and i hate it, because i feel like a baby. i got to the locker first, and i was just hiding my face in my locker hoping i would stop crying before hondo got there...i didn't. he came to the locker and said, "hey, you didn't close the locker before i got here!" i turned around, and i started to leave for band, but he said, "what's wrong?" before i left. when i cry, it's so hard to get my words out, and this is what it sounded like, "i....i...for....forgot...my....lun...lunch" he told me he would share his lunch with me. i decided i'd also tell autumn, i felt i needed a girl to know too. she was way more supportive, of course, she's a friend, not an ex-bf, lol, she said, "oh, karissa, it's okay, don't cry. i'll give you some money and you can buy a salad or something." i stopped crying, and i hugged autumn. even though autumn and i have had our fights, she has always been there for me, and i feel so lucky to have been in the PAT program, not because i do advanced work, but because i have gotten to know a ton of kids for about 6 years, including autumn (and hondo by the way lol) honestly, they are like my family almost. but anyway.....when i got to science, my stomach was killing me. i decided i'd wait until after science to talk to my science teacher about it. i told heather, and asked if i should tell ms.hodge now, or wait until i get to my next class (pre-algebra) and tell mrs.kondziola. she told me to tell ms.hodge, and she said she'd wait in the hall. of course, i knew i was going to cry again, because when i think about it, i don't cry, but when i have to say it, i do cry. i told ms.hodge, and she said, "karissa, why did you sit through class? you could've told me sooner!" i ended up calling my grandma, and my grandpa picked me up. i slept from noon to 12:30, then fell back asleep at 1...when i woke up again, i expected it to be around 2, but it was 4! i could not believe it! but anyway...............
do you think i should still tell him? or do you think these things are just signs telling me, "it's over, move on!"?
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